If You Don’t Ask, The Answer Is Always No
When it comes to asking for things, I’ve noticed that people fall into two categories – those who ask for what they want, and those who don’t.
Those in the first category seem to have no problem asking for what they want, even when the request borders on, well, let’s just say “ambitious.”
If you have siblings, or children, perhaps you’ve experienced this. One child encourages another to “go ask,” and the other sibling does so without hesitation.
Asking is a simple – yet incredibly powerful – concept, and the bottom-line reality is the more we ask for what we want, the more likely we are to receive it.
I was in San Diego recently, and met a man named Talal. We hit it off immediately and have become friends.
I was telling Talal about an event I was planning to attend six weeks later. The event is an exclusive event, with a limited number of participants. It’s one of my “must attend” events every year, and it usually sells out for the next year at the event. So, in other words, the event sold out 10 months ago. (Important to know as I explain what happened next.)
After I finished explaining the nature of the event, his immediate response was, “Oh, that’d be cool. I’d really like to go.”
I explained that it’s already sold out, but that I would be happy to email my contact, and get him on a list for possible inclusion next year.
Talal wasn’t phased by my explanation. He suggested there might be an opening, and that he would be grateful for my introduction.
I explained to him how the event sells out in the room for the next year, and generally doesn’t get opened up beyond the current attendees. I told him I would send the email, though.
Before I left San Diego, I sent an email introducing Talal, and explained his request. My contact, Stephanie, wrote back, and indicated (as I expected) there were no openings for this year, but she would put Talal on the list for next year, in the event there are openings beyond the current alumni group.
Talal responded immediately, thanking Stephanie, and explained that, if something opens up for this year, he would love to attend the event.
As expected, Stephanie responded by saying there wasn’t an opening for this year, and she didn’t want him to get his hopes up, because he would not be able to attend.
That exchange took place Saturday and Sunday.
The following Wednesday, I was copied on an email to Talal, saying, “Good news! Since you know Brian, we’ve opened up an additional spot, and you’re in for this year!”
When I read the email, I started laughing. What a great testimony to the power of asking for what you want!
This story reminds me of a Maya Angelou quote that reinforces the idea of asking for what we want:
Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it.
How about you? Are you the kind of person who asks for what you want, or are you one who tends not to – thinking that doing so would be in vain?
If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If, on the other hand, you make it a practice to ask for what you want, I think you’ll be surprised by the number of times you receive what you ask for.
Please share your feedback on this – I’d love to hear from you! Share stories of times you’ve gone out of your comfort zone and asked for something, and then been surprised when you received it.
Or conversely, let me know if you’ve been hesitant to ask for what you want. What holds you back? How will Talal’s story change your approach going forward?
Ask for what you want, and be prepared to get it. You might not always get what you want, but I think you’ll be surprised how often you do.
