Who Are Your Cheerleaders?

If you’ve known me for any length of time, then you know one of the concepts I think about, talk about, and write about most is surrounding yourself with success. 

The quality of the people in your life probably has more to do with your success than anything else. And your environment is important, too. The space around you, the books you read, and the media you immerse yourself in, all have a huge impact on your success. 

I think this concept is more important today than ever. Over the last couple years, people have been more isolated than ever before. In addition, it seems as though the world has become increasingly cynical and negative. If we want to combat the negativity, it’s essential that we immerse ourselves in a supportive environment.

I was in a meeting with my team recently, and we started talking about my family. One of the observations shared was how apparent it is that we all love and support each other, and how that gets demonstrated. 

One of the things I love most about my family is how loving and incredibly supportive we are of each other. My wife, Heidi, and I certainly support our children. This plays out in many ways, and has throughout our kids’ lives.

To me, though, one of life’s greatest blessings is how supportive they are of each other. Our kids are strong advocates and cheerleaders for each other, and it’s so rewarding as a father to see this.

I don’t take this for granted, because I know this is not the case with all families. I’ve seen – and experienced – plenty of dysfunction, which makes me even more grateful for our close-knit family.

Whether or not you feel loved and encouraged within your family, it’s important to surround yourself with cheerleaders – people who support and encourage you. Advocates for your “success” – however you define it.

So, what exactly does this look like? Here are a few qualities that make me feel loved and supported in my family. These characteristics also exist in other domains of my life, such as with my team.

As you read through these dynamics, think about where they’re present in your life, and also how you can foster such an environment if it doesn’t currently exist.

We encourage each other. We have four children. Even though they’re adults and we don’t get to see them every day, we still communicate with them regularly. Heidi is much better about this than me, but our kids know they are always a phone call, text, or Facetime away. We have a text group called FamBam, where we share both successes and challenges. It’s wonderful as a parent to see how our kids support and encourage each other. 

We celebrate each other. You would think that, with four children – each of whom is a strong leader – there would be a lot of competitiveness and “jockeying for position.” This was probably true to some extent as our kids were growing up. But now, instead of feeling threatened by the success of others (which is common in today’s society), our children actually celebrate each others’ success. This is true not only within our family, but also outside our family. We all want others to be successful, and we are quick to celebrate others’ success. Our kids are each other’s biggest cheerleaders, and they also advocate for – and celebrate the success of – others around them, including their friends, neighbors, and work colleagues.

We check in regularly. I mentioned earlier how we communicate regularly with our children. This communication is initiated by our kids as often as it is by us. And it’s not because they feel obligated, or because they want or need something (though this is sometimes the case). It’s because they truly care about the health and well-being of those closest to them. Checking in regularly with people we care about is not always the easiest thing to do. We all have busy lives and, as time goes on, our sphere of influence expands, meaning there are more people to stay connected with. It’s vitally important, though, to help others feel supported, cared about, and loved.

We speak positively about others. We’ve all experienced conversations with a friend who is speaking negatively about another friend. Whenever I hear this, I wonder what my friend is saying about me when I’m not around. It’s always heartening to hear my friends describe conversations they’ve had with our kids, and how they speak about Heidi and me, and also about each other. Friends of mine describe the love that is clearly apparent in our family, based on the perspective offered by our children. Imagine how your friend or family member feels when they hear from a third party your glowing praise of them, or how you described something about them that made a positive impact in your life.

I used to remind our kids that, with all the negativity and cynicism that exists in the world, we need to be advocates – cheerleaders – for each other. Today, their actions and behavior serve to remind me of that important lesson.

We all need support – today more than ever. We need to be encouraged, and celebrated. It feels good when we know others care about us, and when we hear positivity breathed into our lives.

I believe we feed off our environment. When we feel encouraged, it’s like a plant that’s watered and nurtured. When that happens to us, it helps us to operate from a position of strength, and to grow and flourish. And when we support and breathe life into others, it helps them to be their best selves.

Be a cheerleader for others, and surround yourself with people who cheer for your success. If we all do that, we can help to make the world a better place.