Show Notes

• The value of a college education
• Biggest challenges facing college presidents today
• $50 in his pocket and a few words of English
• Yes! A Positive Network
• Dressing for success
• The distinction between “value” and “appreciated value”
• Keys to maximizing personal and professional achievement
• Success versus significance
• The importance of lifelong learning
• Surrounding yourself with success
• What Nido enjoys most about being a college president
• Choosing to be extraordinary

Connect With Nido Qubein

✩ Website: http://www.nidoqubein.com/
✩ Website: http://www.highpoint.edu/
✩ Website: http://www.greatharvest.com/
✩ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/Nido-Qubein/
✩ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Dr-Nido-R-Qubein

Additional Resources

✩ Book: Stairway to Success: The Complete Blueprint for Personal and Professional Achievement

Summary

Dr. Nido Qubein is the president of High Point University and a nationally recognized author, speaker, and leader. He has also received some of the highest national awards, including induction into the esteemed Horatio Alger Association for Distinguished Americans. Nido discusses what it was like to come to the United States with just $50 in his pocket, and the keys to personal and professional achievement.

Full Transcript

Brian  

Welcome to another episode of LifeExcellence with Brian Bartes. Join me as I talk with amazing athletes, entrepreneurs, authors, entertainers, and others who have achieved excellence in their chosen field so you can learn their tools, techniques and strategies for improving performance and achieving greater success. 

Dr. Nido Qubein is the president of High Point University and a nationally recognized author, speaker and leader. Nido came to the United States years ago with just $50 in his pocket, in a few words of English in his vocabulary, yet went on to become one of America’s most sought after speakers and consultants. At High Point University Nido has led the institution to phenomenal growth and significant academic achievement, tripling its size and moving it to the number one spot among best colleges in the South. As an American citizen Nido has been the recipient of some of the highest national awards, including induction into the esteemed Horatio Alger Association for Distinguished Americans. He is the recipient of the DAR Americanism Medal and the Ellis Island Medal of Honor. Nido was inducted into the International Speakers Hall of Fame and is a past president of the National Speakers Association. As a business leader, Nido is the chairman of Great Harvest Bread Company, which has 220 stores in 43 states, and he also serves on the boards of several national organizations. Nido is the author of a dozen books and scores of leadership, audio and video recordings which have been translated into many languages. The Biography Channel televised his Emmy nominated life story titled “A Life of Success and Significance.” In his home city of High Point, North Carolina, Nido has been named both Citizen of the Year and Philanthropist of the Year. It’s truly an honor to have him on our show. I’ve certainly been looking forward to this conversation. Welcome, Nido, and thanks for joining us on LifeExcellence.

Nido  

Brian, thank you very much. Can you repeat that intro one more time? That’ll keep me out of therapy this week.

Brian  

I’ll do it at the end of the show, how about that]. Nido, we’re going to jump right in. It really is an honor to have you. I know you’re a strong proponent of higher education, obviously, but given the speed at which today’s world is changing – which is faster than most college curriculums, by the way – the percentage of jobs requiring a college degree falling and the value proposition being questioned more than ever before, how is it that a formal college education is still important and justified, especially given the ever increasing cost?

Nido  

Oh, my goodness, Brian, that, I can answer that quickly and I hope, hopefully, persuasively. If you don’t have a college degree – sometimes not even just undergrad, but masters as well – in this global competitive, ever changing world, where the Chinese, the Indians and others are going to college and getting advanced degrees, and beating us and eating our breakfast and lunch and soon our dinner too; let me tell you, my friend, there is no question in my mind, you’re looking at a guy who came to America at 17 to go to college. My mother had a fourth grade education, but she understood that there was no way I can [sic] compete measurably and persuasively and sustainably if I did not have a college education. It’s not about memorizing stuff. It’s not about the stuff you just learned in the classroom. It’s about developing you. It’s about the maturation process. It’s about incubating that human being from a kid in high school to a mature individual who has a good sense about risk management, good sense about communication with people, good sense about decision making, finding solutions and all the rest. So to answer your question, yes, there’s a lot of chatter out there but the chatter is chatter, there’s chatter about everything out there. And the reality of it is, yes, we should make college more affordable. I certainly would agree with that. More people ought to have the privilege to go to school of course, there’s no argument there. But there’s also no question, surveys also suggest that there is a measurable segment of society – both in the United States and internationally – that understands the value of a college degree. Now, Brian, here is the point. The point is where do you go to college and what do you learn? Is it going to be sufficient for you to have success and significance in your own life? At High Point University ninety-nine percent of our students, within six months of graduation, get a job, start a business or go to graduate school. The national average eighty-three percent. Did you hear what I just said? We beat it by 16 points, my friend. Why is that? Because we’re the premier life skills university. Because we say what you learn inside the classroom is absolutely necessary. It’s a prerequisite to master the discipline in which you choose to major. However, if you do not put the frame around that Mona Lisa – the frame being how do you make decisions, how do you get along with people, how do you lead others, how do you run your own life, how do you have the right growth mindset; all of these factors, which we at High Point University provide an ample supply. By bringing more than 50 in residence people, Brian, 50 of them; people like Steve Wozniak, who is the founder of Apple computer, people like Mark Randolph, the founder of Netflix, people like the chairman of the Board of AT&T, the chairman of the board of Domino’s Pizza, on and on the story goes, these people have done it. They’re much more capable of explaining it to students in a way that could be applicable, practical and pragmatic. So I don’t think the question is, is college worth it? I think the question is, are you going to the right school? Are you learning the right things? Are you preparing yourself for a life that is going to be more demanding? No question about it. So that’s the way I see it. Now, some of those people who argue against college – Brian, forgive me – have an agenda. The agenda is either they’re talking about they want a different kind of education or model outside this traditional college, or they want to play the political game about colleges are brainwashing people. We’re a God, family, country school and we’re probably slightly more conservative than not, but we have all kinds of people here, we welcome them all. We’re very inclusive. But I do believe that students, they must learn to grow from the inside out if they are to compete on a global [level]. As our friend Tom Friedman wrote some years ago, the world is flat and we better be ready for it.

Brian  

I wholeheartedly agree, you’re certainly preaching to the choir with me. I have some appreciation for the challenges in higher education because I serve on the board of trustees of a small liberal arts school here in Michigan. Nido, what are the biggest challenges facing college presidents and how will higher education need to adapt over the next, say, ten to 20 years to meet those challenges?

Nido  

Well, colleges and universities come in several categories, you have the Ivy League and the “like” the Ivy League or the hopeful to be Ivy League; they have tremendous endowments, they have all the resources in the world, their challenges are more getting along with faculty, allowing resources to flow through the system, or dealing with regulators and legislators and so on, so we’ll dismiss that group. That group has got a different set of challenges. Then you’ve got the schools, like High Point University, slightly under that group, doing very well, enrollment is…my enrollment quadrupled by the way, Brian, since I came here. As you know, I was in business for 35 years so I’m not your typical academic. Maybe I think differently, I don’t know, I’m a learned person, I’m an eternal student. I learned a lot in business; started six businesses, sold some of them, served on major corporations, as you said, on their boards and so on. But here’s the thing, our type of school, which is the successful layer underneath those Ivy Leagues and the big public schools, I think we’re going to have challenges of diversity, we’re going to have some challenges of affordability. Because, by definition, if we’re private, we offer more services, that costs more money – everything is costing more – you’re going to pass that on somehow, someway. Affordability could be, of course, attained by giving scholarships, as you know which we do at High Point, about $82 million dollars this year. But also the most important thing is your capacity to understand others and respect others. I’ve been president of High Point University for 19 years now, Brian, going on my 20th year in a couple of months. I’ve never had one conflict with faculty. People are shocked by that. I’m a business guy, I’m really a guy who believes in capitalism, I’m a guy [who] you would think is the antithesis. None at all, I respect our faculty, I appreciate them. My job is to resource them. My job is to explain why we do what we do and why we must do it this way if they’re going to have sustainable careers on this college campus or beyond. So I think the challenge is going to be understanding others, having the ability to be agile, while at the same time having the grit, the faithful courage, to dare to take appropriate risks and to be innovative. We’re the number one most innovative school in our category – US News and World Report, eight years winning. Innovation is going to be the lifeblood of survival on a college campus and creating tremendous bridges of understanding with people in industry, in business, in technology and so on. Because those are where the jobs are. We have 4,800 companies related to us at High Point University, giving internships to students and so on. Then you have the third layer. The third layer is the small liberal arts school that has 1,015 students, that have no critical mass, unless somehow the heavens open up and someone gives them a ton of money. They will struggle and what happens is as you struggle to make a balanced budget, you start deferring maintenance. When I came to High Point University, we had $120 million in deferred maintenance. We only had 1,400 students, we were on 91 acres landlocked in the middle of a city and we had 100 faculty members and only had three academic schools. Today, we have 13 academic schools, 550 acres in the same location in the city, our budget went from 28 million to 500 million and our students come from all 50 states and 50 countries. Why is that? That’s the question we should be addressing. What must these colleges do to transcend the challenges of the present, to ensure a better and more promising future?

Brian  

I really appreciate everything you shared. We could certainly make this all about the college campus and academics and education and I’m fascinated by the topic, but I want to make sure for our listeners that we cover some other things too so let’s back up a little bit to your story. Nido is a classic example of the American dream. Tell us what it was like for you growing up and moving to the US at the age of 17 and how that changed your life.

Nido  

Well, Brian, my father died when I was six years of age. I never really had a dad because before that he was sick for three or four years. My mother only had a fourth grade education, she was left with five kids; I was the youngest of five. She had to learn to be a seamstress to make money so she can [sic] feed us and clothe us. But her greatest gift to us was instilling principles and fundamentals in our life. I call it planting seeds of greatness in the hearts, minds and souls of other people. That’s what I try to do everyday at High Point University. My mother wanted me to have an education, she borrowed money and sent me a one way ticket to America. I came to America because America was the land of the free and home of the brave but more importantly, it was a land where if you want to work hard enough or smart enough – challenges may be in the way, there may be some tough times and rocky roads – but you can do it. So I came here and worked my way through college, man, I worked six, eight hours a day – to go to college – seven days a week. I went to a small school in eastern North Carolina, then transferred to what was then High Point College, to the High Point University, in High Point, North Carolina. And I’ll tell you what; I was scared. I was homesick. I was broke. But out of adversity, my friend, can emerge abundance. Sometimes the rocky roads will lead you to well paved highways, you just have to be willing to have an open heart for it. You mentioned I’m a Horatio Alger Association Distinguished American with some fabulous people, unbelievable human beings. You know, I have to pinch myself to say how did I get in there. But that’s all about people who had tremendous adversity and overcame [it] like Colin Powell, for example, and became someone of means and someone of great reputation. Howard Schultz, founder of Starbucks or Cathy Truett, the founder of Chick-fil-A, people of that ilk. So, my adversity, I thank God for it, because it made me a stronger human being. It allowed me to deal with life with much greater courage and a much deeper faith. I’m a man of faith. I’m a Christian, I believe in God Almighty and it’s by the grace of God and the help of others that I’ve done anything in my life, that I’ve been able to achieve anything in my life. I never forget that. I carry with me a little card that says, “Enjoy the gifts, keep your eyes on the giver.” That’s my story. I came out of graduate school, Brian, with $500 and, audaciously, started my first business. Never worked for anybody, started my first business, direct mail business. What did I know about it? I made mistakes, I made some victories. Along the way had some victories, had 68,000 clients in 32 countries in a matter of two and a half years and that’s how my speaking career came to be, out of that. People buying my stuff then saying, come speak to us. Before I knew what I was doing, 200 speeches across the country. I mean, are you kidding me? I was 27 years of age and I was making $200, $500 a speech, but hey, I was in demand. Of course, that led to me being in great demand as a speaker, thousands of inquiries and invitations a year and later on at very, very high fees, I might say; thank you, God. Because if you make money, the question is not whether or not you make money, the question is what you do with it. If you are a benefactor, if you’re a steward, then you make the world a better place, then the more resources you have; time, energy, intellect, money, all those resources, you can share them with others in very meaningful ways. We’ve done some amazing things here in the city, my family and I, and I thank God for the opportunity of doing that. So while my life was tough, I was able to start businesses. I owned a company called Great Harvest Bread Company, 240 stores around the country and so on. But Brian, the most important advice you can give people came from my mother. She said, if you want to be great, you must first work hand in hand and side by side with great people. In other words, who you spend time with is who you become. She said, what you choose is what you get so don’t blame the world and the government – that, everybody else does – for your lot in life, how you make choices, man, stand up and own them. Then she would say how you change – not if you change, not when you change, but how you change – is how you succeed. I took that to heart. I hung around people…sometimes I couldn’t get to them in person, but I read their books, watch them on YouTube, or wherever. I still read, by the way, two books a week, you’ll be surprised, I still read motivational books, leadership books, philosophy books. I get up every morning between three and four in the morning and I study for two and a half hours, before I ever come to work. I think school is never out for the pro. That’s why I love a podcast like this, because somebody’s listening to us today. Their life will be enriched because of something you and I will say or something that will happen to them as a result of just being with you on this podcast. I’m grateful for my life, Brian, I’m grateful for the wonderful people I’ve met along the pathways of my life but I am not finished, far from it. God has called me to do some significant things. I choose to be extraordinary and there’s a lot more to do and I’m set up for it.

Brian  

I appreciate that. There’s so much packed into what you just said, I don’t even know where to begin. I want to make sure that I mention that your mother is such an amazing woman first of all. Secondly, the adversity…you had adversity, especially earlier in your life. And as you know, we learn more some sometimes, a lot of times, from adversity than we do from success. So certainly I know you’ll agree that that really shaped you early on and has helped you to become the person that you’ve become. And then your speaking career. I definitely want to get into that and the reason for that, Nido, – and you don’t know this about me – that’s how I first became aware of you back in the day, all the way back in the 1990s. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long. But at the time, I was studying and learning from people like Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn, and Les Brown. And I came across one of your books, which I still have today. It’s called “Stairway to Success,” if you recognize this. You tout that as being the complete blueprint for maximum personal and professional achievement in the 21st century. I think I actually heard you speak one time; there was a gentleman years ago in Detroit named Michael Jefferies and he had an organization called Yes, A Positive Network. Do you recall speaking at one of those events?

Nido  

Michael Jeffries did the program in Detroit and I probably spoke ten times there. That was a public seminar where you bought a subscription or a ticket to come hear us speak there. And I, by the way, Brian, I did that in about 30 cities around the world with different promoters, just like people promote concerts today. In those days there were a lot of those kinds of seminars. So I’ve spoken about 30, 40 countries around the world and all these people bought tickets. You’ll have 1000, 1500 people come to hear you speak for three hours. All those people you mentioned are buddies of mine. Of course we’ve lost Jim, we’ve lost Zig, but Les and Brian are still active. Believe it or not, I was in the business before Jim, right about the time Zig got in. Les came way after that and Brian came a few years after that. Because I started, at age 25, speaking. But look, books are important. I wrote about a dozen books like the one you just showed. I wrote another book – remind me in February or March, I’ll send you a copy of it – about what I’ve done at High Point University. I talk about the models and the principles that have done…it’s sort of biographical but very interesting book that’s applicable to any business. But I’ve been lazy in the last ten years, no writing, and I need to write…

Brian  

You said busy, right, not lazy, busy?

Nido  

Well, I like to say I’ve been productive. You can be busy and waste time. But I love to write, [it] comes easily to me, but you have to focus on it. We’ve all been influenced by books we read and people we met and so in the 1990s – 80s really, mid 80s, about mid 80s, and into the mid 90s – I was the second best seller with Nightingale-Conant. Denis Waitley was number one, I was number two. I had eight programs, with one of my programs called “How to be a Great Communicator,” later, “Communicate like a Pro,” which sold more than a million books in print. But with [inaudible] course sold more than $20 million in cassettes. Remember cassettes? So believe it or not, Brian, you will find this shocking. I have parents who come to High Point University – and sometimes grandparents – who say, I’m bringing my kid here because 30 years ago I came to your seminars, I listened to your stuff, I read your book. Then some of my donors…this is a wonderful story, someday I hope to write about it. A guy came in one day, gave me millions of dollars. He said, you don’t know me from Adam but every single day on my way to work I listened to one of your cassettes, and I was a nothing guy just starting out and today I’m worth $100 million; I just remember what you did for me when I needed it the most. God at work, Brian, God at work.

Brian  

That’s awesome. You’ve certainly made an impression on thousands and thousands of people and you’re doing that today in a different way. I wanted to make sure that I mentioned…so I don’t remember what you spoke about when you used to come to us, I don’t remember any of that. But I’ll tell you what I do remember very distinctly. The impression you made on me at the time, and ever since, was that when I first saw you, Nido, I immediately identified you as the best dressed person I had ever seen at the time. I’m not kidding about that, I’m serious. I’ll tell you why that’s important to me. It made an impression on me. Around that time there was a book “Dress for Success” and that was a very big thing at the time that you were doing it. But nobody that I knew of – I’m sure there were other people – nobody that I knew of was dressing as nicely as you and that made an impression on me, it impacted me and it impacted the way that I dress. If you could share why is that? Is it always that important? And even today you have a white shirt, very nice tie. Why is it important to you? You’ve always had cuff links and shiny shoes. Nido, you know that today tech billionaires are walking around in jeans and hooded sweatshirts but you’re not doing that.

Nido  

No, and none of my executives on this campus do that. All of my deans, all my vice presidents, everybody, we don’t have a dress code but it’s in the culture. The answer is simple; you know first impressions are lasting impressions, point number one. Number two, what are you modeling for others? Now you don’t have to wear a tuxedo, you don’t have to wear a tie if you don’t want to. I’m in my office so I don’t have my jacket on. You have a beautiful jacket on. Today I speak; I speak at noon, I speak at four o’clock, and I speak at seven o’clock at different events in town. I always have a tie on and a jacket on. I invested in fine clothing even when I didn’t have enough money to do so. I believe that buying one good suit is better than buying three that are cheaper suits. So I’ve always had tailored clothing; my shirts are tailored, my suits are tailored. So number one, it’s first impressions. Number two, it’s what are you modeling for the people. But number three, it makes me feel good, Brian. It makes me feel good. When I get up in the morning, take a shower, shave, dress up in a clean shirt. I put little starch in my shirt and that even makes me feel better. I don’t like cuffs that are all wrinkled up and all that, so that’s just me. Now, I don’t impose that on others if they wish to do otherwise. By the way, if you saw me at the beach, I’m barefooted, T-shirt, right, I mean, but I’m on a private beach, doing my own thing, relaxing. So there’s a time for everything. But I think your question is bigger than that. And the question is garbage in, garbage stays; wisdom in, wisdom stays. So the question is, what do you want to put inside your brain? Sure, I only watch maybe 20 minutes of television, unless it’s sports, then I can watch a two hour basketball game, I watch two or three in a row if I could and I do in March; March Madness but otherwise, I’m not interested in all that, I’m a selective viewer. I can do it on my iPhone or my iPad, and select what I want to watch. I like to learn, as my last point on that, I like to learn from people whom I respect. For me, authenticity above charisma any day of the week and if I respect you, then I want to learn from you. In my life, the people I seem to respect the most were people who did something with their life. But more importantly, Brian – this is a big point for me and I hope is for those were watching us today – I don’t think life is about legacy. People say to me, oh, look at your legacy, look what you built, look what you’ve done, look…I go, no, life should never be about legacy. Legacy, it’s so selfish. It’s like what people think of me. Life ought to be about impact; what happens to you because we somehow crossed paths, not what I did in my life and therefore you like what I did and therefore I become more famous or more admired somehow. And so, for me, the people that I believe impacted the world the most – I’m not saying there are not exceptions to what I’m suggesting, I don’t have all the answers to all the questions – but the people who really influenced my heart, were people who seem to always be respectful of others. And part of dressing nicely when you have an important meeting, is to respect others. If I showed up today unshaven, my hair is going in every direction, I had an old shirt on, that shows no respect to you or to your program. Now, that philosophy is what I believe. Not suggesting everyone should believe that. Having said that, I tell every student on our campus here, look, you want to make a good impression. You want to go into that interview ready with a beautiful suit on, shirt, tie, polish shoes, and you want to be a good listener. You want to do your homework about a company before you ever go there. Instead of asking questions; what are my benefits, what’s my vacation? Be talking about how you can make that company a better place. Can I give you one concept that I think it’d be worth anybody watching this whole program? (Brian:  Of course.) The concept is about value, because that’s what we’re talking about, how to become a more valuable person. Here’s a misconception…I hope to write a book sometime about contrasts, like I just gave you the contrast legacy versus impact. So I have another contrast, I have contrasts like selling versus persuading, communicating versus connecting, success versus significance, that kind of thing, training versus education. But here’s a really powerful concept that I’ve been speaking about a lot and people really sit up and take note of it and that is everybody talks about rendering value as if that’s unique. As if when you render a value, you’re really special. You’re not. Every person renders some kind of value. Every person renders some kind of value; the good, the bad, the indifferent. The issue is not about value, the issue is about appreciated value. Let me illustrate. If I were to say to you, Brian, you just won two first class tickets to go to Maui, all expenses paid and then I’m going to give you two weeks on a cruise ship around the Hawaiian Islands and beyond, all expenses paid. However, you cannot transfer those to anybody. You cannot sell them on eBay. You must use them yourself. Now, you would agree with me that has a lot of value, right? The cost of the tickets, the cost of the cruise, thousands of dollars of value. But if Brian was afraid of flying and Brian got motion sickness on the cruise ship, and therefore he wouldn’t dare get onto a ship, that would not have appreciated value. It simply would not have appreciated value. In other words, the gift had value but to Brian, no, I don’t want to be on the airplane, I don’t want to be on that cruise ship. Since I can’t do anything else with those tickets – they have value, no argument – but for me, they have no appreciated value. So therefore the most powerful thing we can focus on every day, in every way, with every person we encounter, is am I providing appreciated value? We know we’re giving value but is it appreciated value? So as I’m speaking with you this morning, I’m not focusing on what I’m saying. I’m focusing on that camera looking in the eyes of the person watching us and saying to myself, am I providing something for everybody watching us, so they can walk away with something of appreciation. The only way you provide appreciated value is to understand other people’s needs, goals, fears and aspirations. If every sales person in America understood that simple principle – you understand people’s fears, needs, goals and aspirations – you will provide greater value; appreciated value. And guess what happens when you provide appreciate value? People come back again and again, again, again, and you go from brand awareness…everybody’s talking about branding. Branding, what is branding? It’s nothing. What really matters about branding is brand advocacy. When you advocate that product or that service, that’s when you have the richness of brand. People can know your brand – I am familiar with Pepsi brand, but I don’t drink Pepsi – so that means nothing. Brand advocacy is the name of the game. So appreciated value is what we all ought to be seeking to provide. The world will change. When people say to me, how do I become wealthy, how do I become financially independent, how do I become whatever? I go, you don’t focus on that. You focus on being a person of purpose, you focus on the other person, you provide great things to others and watch what happens. Brian, let me give you a compliment, you’re a great listener. I do a lot of these podcasts, you let me flow with what I’m talking about. So many people just…they just want to jump all over the place. At the end, the reader or the viewer didn’t really get value. You listen intently. And I’m aware of the fact I give you long answers, because I’m trying to provide appreciated value to that person watching us. I don’t know which idea is going to hit what person where in their life but hopefully at the end of it, every person watching us will get something out of this.

Brian  

Well, I have no doubt that that’s the case. I love the distinction between value and appreciated value and also the example that you gave. Because I think that really illustrates how we might be offering something that we perceive as valuable but if it’s not valuable to the recipient, then that’s not appreciated value. So that’s terrific. You’ve shared lots of other things that I love talking about, dress and to me that’s very serious. You sort of chuckled when I brought it up, but it’s very serious and very important to me and from my standpoint, that’s part of the the notion of surrounding yourself with success. We think about people but I expand that to environment, certainly surrounding your body with success. You mentioned how you feel when you’re dressed a certain way and I think that feeling then gets exuded to other people. The fact that I brought that up as the one thing that I remember when I first met you back in the 1990s – that was 30 years ago, Nido – and that was appreciated value. That made a lasting impression on me, so I appreciate you very much. I want to jump back into the book just for a second, “Stairway to Success.” I know you’ve written many other books. What I really liked about this book – and it was published over 30 years ago – is that the blueprint for success is timeless. So the strategies that you wrote about in 1996 are just as true today as they were then and will be 30 years from now. They’ll still be true. I wonder…you’ve given lots of value already, lots of appreciated value, and some nuggets, but what are just a few keys to maximizing personal and professional achievement?

Nido  

Well, number one is a growth mindset. Carol Dweck at Stanford wrote this book called “Mindset,” she made the difference between fixed mindset – that’s where we’ve always done it, that’s why I feel comfortable doing it – to growth mindset; what is the potential, where can I go, what can I do, how can we improve this everyday? Number two, it’s…by the way, under that you can put attitude and all of that; positive thinking, etc. The second one is commitment. I talk about that in this book, there with success, commitment. Commitment is one of the most important steps in life because you can make a decision with your brain but you must make a commitment with your heart. That’s why commitments are longer lasting. That’s why commitments are harder to break. So a lot of people say, I’d like to do this, I’m planning to do it; that’s not commitment. Commitment is, I will give it everything I got. After I’ve done my homework, I know this is the right thing to do, et cetera, I will give it everything I got. As president of High Point University today, people are shocked when I tell them, my easy days are 12 hours. But more often than not, it is 16-18 hours. But I don’t think it’s work. I think it’s a lot of fun. I got up this morning about 3:30 and I stayed home to seven, I had coffee with my wife, I came here about 8:20 am and I’ll go home tonight about nine o’clock. So what is that? That’s about 17 hours. Some people go play golf for four or five hours. This is this is what inspires me so I’m committed to the work and committed wholeheartedly to the work. So number one is growth mindset, number two is commitment, number three is leadership. So what is leadership? Leadership doesn’t mean you’re going to be the CEO of the company. Leadership means you conduct yourself in a way that other people will choose to be on your team. And that entails everything from your capacity to connect with people, not merely communicate with them. You communicate by speaking, listening, observing, writing, but when you connect with people, you’re talking heart to heart, you’re speaking in language they can immediately immerse themselves in. One way we can do this, I’ve already illustrated, you know their fears, their needs, their goals, their aspirations. So leadership is a big deal. And number four is just understanding; knowing that nobody appointed you the king of the world and you can’t be a dictator. Now, you should be a person of purpose and you should be clear on what you want to do, because people want to follow clear leaders. But that doesn’t mean you have all the answers. Understanding others is a great gift. The reason I’ve had no issues with faculty on our campus is because I say, what is it that would make them happy? What is it that will make their life more successful and how can I give them as much of that as I possibly can within the realm of ethics and policy of the university and so on? That’s not difficult to do. But since most of us are self-oriented; what’s in it for me, how can I benefit from this, we miss the point. I think what we need to be…we can’t just have self-interest, Brian, we have to have enlightened self-interest. The difference between the two is that self is all about me and enlightened self-interest is how can I help you first. Because if I help you first, you’ll help me. You’ll be surprised how much of my time I invest in just serving others, like I’m doing with you this morning. And it’s not that I have the time, it’s I make the time. But it’s an amazing thing that happens, you could say something to someone down the road and never know that it was you who said something to them but as a result of you doing that, it leads to something else that benefits my life, or my university’s life, or my family’s life, or my country’s life. So that’s what I believe wholeheartedly. I think the older we get Brian, the more we begin to understand that premise about truly acknowledging other people, that they exist, and they’re important, and have to understand them first. So the analogy I give is if you’re crossing a bridge – most of us communicate in this fashion – I’m at this end of the bridge, there’s a river down here, you’re at this end of the bridge. Most people relate to it as I start where I am and I start coming to you. No, no, stay where you are and slowly start bringing people to you. The only way you can bring people to you is to get to know them and understand them. You’re forcing yourself to immerse yourself into the heart of that person; who are they, what do they value, what is important in their life, how can I help them? Slowly they start coming to you and before you know it, you’re seen as a really good leader and they give you all these names and all these titles. But the reality of it is you’re just a normal guy who’s trying to help other people. These are some of the things. Now, of course, the other factors like skill and experience and competence, I don’t mean to dismiss those, whatever you do, you must do it in the best way you can. I taught myself how to speak English in a fluid, fluent and flowing manner. I also taught myself to think with clarity. So I’m looking into the camera the whole time, I have no notes, I have no idea what the questions are. If you send them to me, I don’t look at them, just so you know, I am an impromptu guy, but I know my stuff, I’m competent in my area, therefore, I have confidence. So whatever question you ask me, I have a significant amount of knowledge on that issue, or I will focus on the area I have the most knowledge on. Those are not common traits. If I get my students to do more and more of that; speak, precisely speak with clarity, focus on appreciated value, I’m telling you, everything else follows. Your awards will follow, money will follow, significance will follow, everything will follow. It may not follow on your timeline, mind you, you might have to exercise some patience. I would say there’s no such thing as unrealistic dreams, they are only unrealistic timelines so we have to be patient. That’s why we should never do something and expect something in return. William Barclay, the Scottish theologian, said, “Always give with out remembering, always receive without forgetting.” Wow, I love that. Just do good. Do good every day and expect nothing in return. Somehow the world will take care of your return when you least expect it.

Brian  

I love that. You mentioned the part about adding value to others and helping others that that comes later in life. I’m going to suggest that you’ve been doing that, certainly, most of your adult life. As long as I’ve known you…it’s one thing to have those things for yourself, to create success for yourself, for your family, for those closest to you, it’s quite an another – and a bigger opportunity, I think – to make an  impact on other people. You’ve done that in some very big ways in your companies, at High Point University. But the other thing to remember – for our listeners and viewers – is that we have the opportunity every day to positively impact people, to make a difference in the lives of people, through simple random acts of kindness. Just being nice to people, just saying good morning to somebody when you pass them on the street in the morning, using somebody’s name if they have a name tag or if you know their name. Those are very small ways that we can just be kind, be nice to people. We don’t know what’s going on with people in the moment and sometimes those very small, seemingly insignificant things that we do, those kind gestures that we offer, can have an impact. You talked about impact if I go and say something about this show and the the ripple effect that that has, but sometimes we do something that for us is insignificant. It doesn’t seem very big but the impact that has – to use your words from earlier in the show – the impact that has on somebody…by the way, we don’t know what that is and it’s okay that we don’t know what it is. But we do have those opportunities in small ways and hopefully we have them in big ways too.

Nido  

Light a candle everywhere you can. 

Brian  

Absolutely. Nido, your school’s marketing material touts High Point University as the premier life skills university. One aspect that I really enjoyed reading about in preparation for this show, is the roles of both success and significance in life. You mentioned a number of contrasts and so I’ll bring that contrast to you. What is the distinction between success and significance and why is it important for you to teach that lesson? I know you do that in your first year seminar on life skills.

Nido  

Success is focused on the three Fs:  fans, fame, fortune. Significance is focused also on three Fs:  your faith, your family, your friends. Success is defined differently by different people. Brian, you know an entrepreneur might say success is making a lot of money. Albert Einstein might say success is unraveling the secrets of the universe. Let’s see…Mother Teresa might say success is feeding the hungry in the back alleys of Calcutta. You know, Hank Aaron might say success would be to beat the record of Babe Ruth. I mean, everybody looks at success in a different way based on their own perspective of life. But significance is about a deeper understanding of what life is; you come from the salt of the earth, you go back to salt of the earth, none of us is going to live forever. So what is it that you do in life that matters, and matters not just to you and your immediate inner circle, but to the world at large? And so that, to me, is what significance is; it’s about impact, it’s about impact that lives on long after you’re gone. They may not quote you, by the way, they may not even remember your name, that’s not important. What is important is that you’ve done something to propel someone forward in some meaningful way. That’s what significance is to me. One is about secular things, success:  buy a big house, have a big boat, drive a nice car. And one is about spiritual, however you define your spirituality, about spiritual things. Spirituality suggests that I am not enough, there is something much bigger than me. I believe it in my heart and it enriches my personhood.

Brian  

I want to ask you about learning. I know you’re a lifelong learner. I’m a learner. That’s one of my strengths. I’ve been learning. We have a phrase in our family; always learning, always growing. That plays out for me through reading books and listening to audio programs and podcasts and attending seminars and having conversations with people like you, frankly. I think it was Jim Rohn, who said formal education will make you a living, self-education will make you a fortune. I sense that your focus on life skills – that’s something I really picked up on, again, preparing for the show was the focus at High Point University on life skills – I sense that that focus is addressing the second part of Jim’s quote. How important is lifelong learning to you personally? You touched on that a little bit earlier. How is that important? How is that importance conveyed to students at High Point University?

Nido  

Well, you’re right, I teach all the freshmen here – 1,600 of them – every Thursday morning. We talk about leadership and stewardship, and communicating and so on, so forth, fiscal literacy, etc. But look, school is never out for the pro. Just like you take a bath every day, shower every day, to cleanse your body, you must cleanse your mind; the world is changing so fast, information is coming at us so rapidly, that if we don’t catch up with what’s going on, we’re going to be left behind. So to that extent, we have to constantly be learning, learning, learning, learning, learning. Now the irony is learning today is easier than it’s ever been before, because it’s so accessible. On the other hand, learning today is more difficult than ever before, because it is so accessible. There’s a lot of misinformation out there too and one has to develop the capacity to be discerning about what is and what isn’t, and what’s reasonable and what’s unreasonable. So, to me, the whole notion of living life fully is to make sure that every day you’re learning. If all you have is information, people use you and discard you; if all you have is knowledge, people call upon you only when they need you. But if what you have is wisdom, people respect you, and the only way you can attain wisdom and grow it and feed it and harvest it, is to constantly be learning, because what you thought was the case may not be the case anymore. We used to think the world is flat and then we find out it’s not. So we have to learn somehow, some way, that what I knew yesterday may or may not be as applicable tomorrow. The only way I know it is going to be applicable tomorrow is to keep myself up with what’s going on all around me.

Brian  

That’s terrific and vitally important. In my opinion, I know we share that. Nido, we have a mutual friend, John Maxwell. I know John has visited High Point several times. He’s taken groups of leaders to see the good work that you’re doing and I think he’s spoken there too. Your students have also been exposed to other well known leaders and innovators. You talked about some of those people, guys like Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak. I’m a big believer – I mentioned this earlier to you – in surrounding yourself with success, which of course includes learning and being mentored by successful people in various domains of life. So it’s not just business or success or wealth. I’ve studied people who have long term relationships and marriages, and study people who are I think are great parents to learn more about how to be a great dad. Share your thoughts on the importance of surrounding ourselves with success and the difference that that’s made in your own life?

Nido  

Well, I think the primary difference is to understand that you don’t have everything you need to thrive in life and that what you need to do is to access that and multiply it through the lives of others because each of us travels a different path and life can be difficult. As Dr. Peck wrote in his book, “The Road Less Traveled,” he began by saying life is difficult. Well, life can be difficult, but through difficulty can also come tremendous progress. The only way you can do that is to sort of learn it through other people. That’s point one. Two, perspective. Perspective is everything. The way we look at things comes through our prism of perspective, we might even look at the same thing and see two different things entirely. So by learning about other people’s perspective, I begin to find out that there are other ways I can look at this issue and go, I never thought of it that way. So that’s another reason why we have to learn through others. The third reason is, some people have done the impossible. I mean, excuse me, you look at your iPhone today and you go, if it wasn’t for Steve Wozniak in his garage creating Apple-1, we wouldn’t have the iPhone today. Wow, are you kidding me? This is unbelievable. How did they do that? How did they build it? How did Cathy Truett begin with one chicken store in Atlanta and built it into a $12 billion business – and they close on Sunday – I mean, go figure. So the many reasons why it’s important to walk hand in hand, side by side with others. And sometimes you don’t agree with everything they say, that’s okay, too. You’ve got to be discerning, but you can learn something from everybody. I think widening our horizon through the podcasts we listen to, through the books we read, the seminars we attend; I’m a believer in all of that. You spoke of John Maxwell. John Maxwell is one of my dearest friends, in fact, I’ll have dinner with him in about two or three weeks down in Palm Beach. John is an amazing person, just an amazing person. We’re about the same age and he is going at three times the pace I go at. He’s in Peru at the moment. I mean, go figure, this guy is like…what do you call it? The energetic bunny?

Brian  

The Energizer Bunny.

Nido  

Energizer Bunny. Yeah, he’s an amazing guy. He also speaks about complex issues in very simple terms so people can comprehend what he’s talking about. He also focused on one area, became an expert in IT leadership. He also multiplied what he does to all kinds of educational systems and licensing and all of this stuff. I mean, he…you’re talking about impact, this guy created enormous impact. He also did it in different sectors:  in the commercial sector, the business sector, institutional sector, religious sector. It is incredible. I see John with some frequency and he’s one of our in-residence at High Point so he comes here every year. I learn from him every time and I’ve shared the platform with him many times. He’s just, he’s tops in my book, as was Jim Rohn. I knew Jim very well. Zig was one of my very good buddies. When Jim was 50, I was 25 and I got to know him and learn from him. He was a very fine Christian man and everything he did was based on the values and principles that he believed in fundamentally. All these guys are just unbelievable people who do amazing things, but the world is filled with them, filled with them. You can’t look north or south, east or west without seeing them. Question is to be open to it, and be on the receiving end of it willingly.

Brian  

That’s terrific. I appreciate you sharing those nice words about John, he is a great man. And by the way, he feels the exact same way about you, as you know, which is why you have a great relationship. I want to ask you one more academic question. What do you enjoy most about being a college president? So you’re in business your whole life speaking and then came full circle. You are a graduate of High Point University and had the opportunity and the privilege to become not just a college president but president of High Point University, your alma mater. What do you enjoy most though, about being a college president?

Nido  

Well, my answers weren’t very clear on that. It’s the most important work I think I’ve ever done in my life. It is taking a group of people – 1,600 of them as freshmen coming into this campus – and helping to mold them into the future leaders of the world, planting seeds of greatness in their hearts, their minds and souls. By the way, something I didn’t expect – through osmosis – reaching their parents too, because I speak at all the parental events here and so on. I have more emails from parents telling me they’ve learned stuff from us or they appreciate what we’re doing or they advocate us. You won’t believe the generous…they give us gifts like you wouldn’t believe. I mean, last year, just three families gave $100 million to High Point University to build the law school, to build a dental/medicine school, to build a new library. I just am grateful to them every single day. I don’t get up in the morning thinking about how to do that, it just happens because as I said, impact is what it’s all about. We graduate 1,500 of them every year, they go on to do amazing things. And then I get all these emails and letters from people, alumni, who say, man, when I was in your class, I didn’t fully appreciate what you were saying but now that I’m out there in the real world, Lord have mercy, I really realize what you did for me while I sat there listening to you. If I can encourage a young person to think that they can, that God created them for a purpose, that they are extraordinary, so don’t mess it up, wow, in an age today where young people are questioning who they are and why they exist, in so many cases we’re able to turn that around. Is there a better word than that, Brian? I think not.

Brian  

Well, I certainly love being on college campuses, and the energy that I feel every time I have the opportunity to interact with young people, generally speaking, but specifically on college campuses. We talk a lot about the youth today and their work ethic and other things but every time I’m on a college campus, around college students, that just all goes out the window and I’m energized and very enthusiastic about the future of our country and the future of our world. As you know, our show is called LifeExcellence and you certainly model the concept of excellence. I wonder, what does excellence mean to you?

Nido  

Excellence, to me means…a better word is extraordinary than excellence, but excellence means being better than the norm, being way above average, but mostly excellence means the fulfillment of your own potential. So excellence for person A might be very different in person B; you may be a great mathematician and I may never be a great mathematician, but I could be great at something. So whatever that is, then seek to do it at your very, very best. People will know that you’re excellent when you impact their life and bring appreciated value. The key is not to be excellent, the key is to be sustainably excellent, repeatedly excellent, when that becomes part and parcel of your very existence, very personhood.

Brian  

I love that distinction. You mentioned extraordinary and I know that’s a word that you use that High Point, even better than excellence. LifeExtraordinary just doesn’t have the same ring as LifeExcellence, [laughter] we might stick with LifeExcellence. You mentioned contrasts so I don’t want to leave without asking you about this. How do you contrast excellence and extraordinary?

Nido  

Well, excellence, I mean…

Brian  

Like a subtle distinction?

Nido  

I never thought of it but if I have to think about a distinction there, mild as it may be and have to think about it more, but I would say excellence is being the best you can, at whatever it is you do. Extraordinary, I would say is about positioning. So in the market place, extraordinary means you really are better than your competitor, you really are doing it better than your competitor and so on. So I think that could be one distinction, extraordinary is doing things in a way that people look at you and go, wow, that really is distinctive. And positioning is about why should people do business with you, how easily can somebody else imitate what you do? So you can have ten people in a group, all of whom are excellent. They may not all be extraordinary, because they may all be equal, but the extraordinary one might be the one who shines above all of those people. Nevertheless, every person the Olympic swim meet could be excellent at swimming, but there’s one person who beats you by 100th of one percent of a second, or a split second, that’s the extraordinary one who gets the gold medal that day. I think that could be one distinction.

Brian  

I like that. I’m certainly going to go back and think about that some more. Maybe we can have a follow up discussion on that. Nido, thank you very much for being on the show today. It’s a pleasure to meet and speak with you. I certainly appreciate the value that you’ve added to our show and I know that our listeners and viewers will too. I’m so grateful that you’re on the show today, thank you.

Nido  

Thank you, Brian. Thank you very much and keep doing great things because you’re helping a lot of people.

Brian  

I appreciate that. To our listeners and viewers, thanks for tuning in to LifeExcellence. Please support the show by subscribing, sharing it with others, posting about today’s show with Dr. Nido Qubein on social media, and leaving a rating and review. You can also learn more about me at BrianBartes.com. Until next time, dream big dreams and make each day your masterpiece.